Raising boys puts me in unexpected territory. Even with respect to what I say to them.
Boys are different from girls. From my experience, this is true. The wrestling, punching, yelling, constant high energy . . . So often, words come out of my mouth, and I pause to think, “Wow. I never could have predicted I’d say that as a mother of boys.”
15 things I couldn’t have predicted I’d say while raising boys
1. We don’t sit naked with friends.
2. Nobody’s penis goes on anybody’s head.
3. We don’t head-butt.
4. Stop picking your nose. Unless you have a tissue to put your snot in.
5. STOP yelling “STOP” if you want him to STOP!
6. Don’t ever let me see you do that again. (which was understood as “I can do it, as long as she doesn’t see me.”)
7. Please don’t lick sugar off your foot. (after having spilled it while baking together)
8. Take your finger out of his belly button.
9. Because people wear underwear. That’s why.
10. If there’s a bathroom within 20 feet of you, you should use that instead of the ground.
11. How did you get gum in your belly button?
12. We don’t play with garlic salt.
13. Popsicles are for eating, not for drawing on cabinets.
14. Don’t stand on his head.
15. Pause the movie and put the Fart Book back where you found it.
They may be surprising, but they make me smile.
What unexpected things have you said to your kids?